Article by Croix Sather

Image: Should a man open the door for a woman - Croix Sather


Slam. The door closes on her face from the men in front of her. It was as if she wasn't there. She catches it, but then it happens again just a few feet away going through the next set of doors as they stepped out into the cold from the movie theater.


Is this the way men treat women these days?


You might be saying, “Maybe they didn’t see her.” But, they were together. Two guys and two girls. The couples held hands as they walked to their car, right after they guys let the door slam on her.


It was completely out of the men’s consciousness to hold the door for their girlfriends. They both walked out swinging the doors open without a glance back and zero regard for the beautiful ladies walking behind them.


It' s not the guys’ fault. They are still boys even though they are about 20 years old. Obviously nobody taught them how to be a man. Nobody taught them how to treat a lady. It’s not the ladies' fault either. Nobody taught either young women to expect this from a man. Nobody showered them how to get a man to step up when they are blind to the ways to act.


Nobody told her that is okay to say in a loving voice, “Hey honey, did you realize you just let the door close on my face? When a man holds a door for his lady, it shows his love and respect for her. You love and respect me, right?”


She could have also just stood there on the other side of the door until he returned to hold the door for her. If he didn't come back, then she would definitely know that he is not worth her time. 

Do you think she would get a response from him? Absolutely. If he is ready to be a man, he will never let her walk through another door without him holding it for her.


If he is not willing to do this, then she can decide if he is worth her time, love, and intimacy. Because if he can not even hold a door for her, what chance is there that he will care and respect her in bed and the next morning?

why men should open doors for a woman

It is politically correct to open a door for a woman?


Once I had a lady scream and berate me for holding a door open for her. My guess from this brief experience with this woman is that she goes around trying to castrate all men. A happy and conscious person would not berate a stranger for being polite.


But she is the exception not the rule. Occasionally, I will post to social media asking questions like, "Should a man open a door for a woman?" And the overwhelming response is a resounding ... yes!


The political correctness police have created confusion about how men can act and should act. This is even more reason to stand tall, hold the door, and be a gentleman so that we don't loose the chivalrous traditions that most women adore and crave. It is not because that can't or because women are weak, it is because its a gesture of respect for anyone a man might hold the door for. But if she is his girlfriend or spouse, it is especially a gesture of love, honor and protection.


Can a woman open her own door? Of course. Does she need a man to do that? Of course not.    


Here is an important part, it is not just about the door, it is about what opening the door also represents in an intimate relationship. It's about the guy being aware and conscious to her. It's about the guy being a guardian and protector to her and by extension how he will protect their family and their community. 


It would be easy to blame the guys. Any man should know this, right? Its common sense and decency, right? And it could be reasonable to blame the woman. She should express this to her man and if he doesn’t step up, or she should make room a guy who will. You could blame the parents, school, and their community. And this is certainly where much of the blame lies.


However, it is mostly up to us ... the men. It is the rest of us men that do know better and make a point to open doors, buy flowers, and to step up chivalrously. It is up to us to lead by example by truly stepping up in true masculinity and kindness.


Be the example in your relationships for your children and for others who by chance happen to see your actions in public. We can’t be lazy and say, “It was different when I was growing up.” B.S. It is not different. It is exactly the same. Men need to step up and be great men! It is up to us to be the example for others and be the man your lady truly craves.


I often hear single women lament about they can't find a good guy. And I hear married women complain how their husband doesn't open doors and take her on dates anymore. 


They are not wrong. There is a shift away from the strong protector but gentle soul in men. It is as if being a masculine man is a bad thing. Being a masculine, powerful, decisive and driven man is not the problem. Not by a long shot. 


The problem is that some men are toxic masculinity. Or they are still boys that never had the guidance to be a good person as well as a strong man. 


The problem is also with women who have dated these jerks and assume all men are like this or have become cynical. Some of the women become man-haters and this is just as bad as a toxic man.


Sadly, some of these toxic men and women are writing for magazines, the news, sitcoms, and movies normalizing their distorted and venomous beliefs. The we consume this information as truth. You may disagree with it intellectually, but if you see the same lie often enough in social discourse, "All men are disgusting pigs that only have one thing on their mind", many will unconsciously start to believe it. And the men will believe it too. "Well, if they all think that we are pigs, why should we act any different?" It's a dangerous and downward spiral that is cause by a few disgruntled people who influence what we read and watch. 


This is why the subtle act of opening a door, helping someone carry packages, and lending a hand to a neighbor or a stranger is how we lead by example. It's a microcosmic way of changing the world. But if enough people are doing it, that is exactly what happens.  


Open up doors in a building. Walk around the car and open her door for her as she climbs in. Walk between her and shady looking people and between her and the traffic. Buy her flowers when she doesn’t expect it. Send her a note to show your love. Make decisions quickly, but be flexible and honor her what she wants. Be strong and decisive, but be gentle and caring with her. Make plans and treat her like a princess. Do this and she will become your queen because you have stepped up as her king. 



Expect your man to be a real man. Know it and own it, that you are worth the extra effort from him. This isn’t entitlement, but being a powerful feminine force. Let him know that you appreciate when he is stepping up, “I love when you hold my door baby. It makes me feel loved/sexy/wanted.” There is nothing a real man wants more, than to make you happy. As men, we need these gentle and simple reminders, guidance, and affirmations. They go a lot further than you might think.


Leave him love notes to find later. Look him in the eyes and kiss him as you tell him, “You’re everything I want in a man.” Treat your guy like a real man, like he is the only one that can satisfy you and he will become and continue to be that man you truly want.


It all starts with the simple act of opening up a door. Writing a note. An unexpected gift. An evening of quality and dedicated time. And a few words from the heart.


Be the example for others. Step up and own who you are and expect others to treat you the way you want to be treated.


It's not just a door you are opening, it's also what it means to her and what it shows the world you think about her. 


Step up and be a real man!

What do you think? 

Should a man open doors for a woman? 

Do you love it or hate when a man holds the door for you? 

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Croix Sather

Life Transformation and Peak Performance Expert, author, professional speaker, and global traveler.


Croix is the Author of Dream Big Act Big, Dream Big Life Planner, Instant Manifestation Secrets, and Podcast host.


Croix travels full time living the digital (and professional speaker) lifestyle living in Costa Rica, Colombia, South East Asia and wherever he he is called to explore the amazing blue and green globe that we call home.